Smiles and laughs

btw…

I know it’s a long time since I last wrote and I’m not sure if people even read these anymore, but I needed to write something. It’s a long time since I’ve been so mad at the world. I’m only 16 and I don’t understand the world. I thought I did, but now I’m positive that the world we live in is disturbed.

I have three friends. Three very close friends, but they’re not just my close friends or best friends they are my family and when something happens to them. I’ll do anything to make it better, but this time I can’t do anything about it. My one friend got some very terrible news a week ago, news that would make you stop laughing for years, but this girl she smiles and laughs and I know that some would say the person is in denial, but for me it seems like she’s choosing to fight. Not only fight the bad thing, but fight the feeling of being sad. Every smile and every laugh is a fight and she keeps winning them. Every time I saw laugh or smile this week I admired her. As I wrote in my post about beauty for me it’s when a person is fighting against the darkness and the sadness that keep trying to invade their life and that’s what my friend is doing. She’s fighting against what normally would eat up a person. She smiles and laughs and it’s so amazing to watch. I’m not sure how I would react if I was in her situation, but she’s an inspiration. Seeing her smile you can see the battle behind it and that makes it the most beautiful smile you can ever see. She doesn’t see herself as strong, but that’s what it takes and normally when you fight somewhere in the future there will be victory. So even though I’m not sure I even believe in God I believe in something bigger someone who listens and today and tomorrow everyday until victory I’ll pray for this amazing strong girl who should get a victory medal for winning everyday over the sadness in her fighting against her. I hope some of you will pray for this girl you never met. Pray for her to keep winning, because I know she can. I’ll pray for my family. If she’s strong – I’m strong.

Love you.

“For being beautiful, amazing and one hell of a fighter”

– Amy

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Fine.

btw…

I’m fine, we’re all fine, everybody is fine…

“Are you okay?” “yea I’m fine” – what do you mean by that?. Are you REALLY fine or a you actually horrible and your world is falling a part. It’s hard to know. I personally have a habit for running for my problems and I do by telling myself that I’m fine. The guy I’m seeing is also seeing someone else – you know what I’m fine, I’ll survive.

Have you heard of a panic attack? I had one last year. I remember that I couldn’t breath. I felt like my lungs where getting smaller and that I couldn’t breath probably. At the moment I didn’t know why I couldn’t breath, but thinking back at it. It makes sense that my world were falling down and a part. 4 years of pain and problems finally hit me, but instead of dealing with the problems when they came I was keeping them inside. So all the pain came down at ones.

For 4 years I said to others “I’m fine” so many times that I start believing it.

Meredith: I’m fine.                                                                                                                                                                            Alex: You said that word so many times today, it doesn’t even sound like a word anymore

Derek: How is Meredith, anyway?
Cristina: Fine.
Derek: She’s always fine. That’s her problem.
Cristina: We’re fine people. We do fine. We’re fine.

I wondered over this topic when I saw an episode in Grey’s anatomy, so these quotes or dialog’s is from different episodes. They describe what I want to say about this. I learned that it’s healthy to face your problems because avoiding them only makes it worse. I’m still working on it though. Sometimes it feels harder to face the problem then to avoid it, but it helps in the end.

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Imperfection is perfection

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Barbie the ideal woman. From child her body and face are planted into our memories. She is perfect! Maybe a little to perfect, but that doesn’t matter. You are little you wanna be a princess, a fairy, a woman yes even a mermaid. It’s all hunting your and my mind. I want to be perfect without mistakes and bad hair days. I still want that, but now I know perfection is a different thing. Perfection doesn’t exist. It’s not natural – it’s a dream!

The thing is that there isn’t a perfect woman or an ideal woman. You don’t have to look a certain way, because what would that look like? Barbie? I don’t think so – That isn’t beauty. Beauty is when you have your own way of being beautiful.
So if isn’t Barbie then it’s the models in the magazines who are so unreal. Perfection is a fantasy that doesn’t exist. Beauty can be in so many ways.

Imperfection is perfect to me. I know cliche, but true. For me beauty is when you are confident in yourself and be special. Beauty isen’t being hot or cute. It’s something very special and unique. If you think you are beautiful then you are. It’s not important if anyone else think you are beautiful. It’s only yourself you have to convince!

 

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A day of a teenager – the Weekend

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So this post isn’t just for today, but the whole weekend.This was the weekend of my life. Everything was so amazing. Let’s start from friday. Friday I had dinner with some friends and my parents. It was great, but my stomach really hurt. It felt like nervous butterflies. I think when the time was about 11 pm i left the dinner and went over to my friend. We made a little sleep over with two other girls. It’s my best friends, but Friday was nothing like Saturday. My friends and I started with warming out and when the time finally was 4 pm we went in to Copenhagen. It was crazy to see so many people in one place. We waited some outside the arena and I could feel that my stomach got more and more strange. I really felt like I was going faint ’cause I was so nervous that the tickets wouldn’t work, but they did thank god!! When we finally got in I felt much better! In there we waited for like three hours and after 2 hours I was really tired of Micheal Jackson ’cause it was playing as waiting music. The concert was a little late because of some fans in front. We waited an hour more for Justin Bieber, but it was all worth it when he entered the stage. I was so hyped!! It was so amazing! I felt like I was apart of something bigger. I finally understood what the beliebers ment when they say that we’re family!! and we are and I really felt that. It was so amazing it’s hard to describe how it was ’cause there isn’t words for it. I was just to happy to share this with my besties. It was unreal that you finally saw him after all that time following him. You really feel like you know him and that you met before and that it’s just some time since you saw him.

When Justin Bieber started singing Believe all the people in the arena had a sign that said proud. I admit that I was expecting so many people with the proud sings. It was an amazing to look out over the audience and see everyone doing the same thing. I was definitely apart of something really big and you felt like one it was so amazing. Okay hmm I’ve used amazing a lot? 😀 The music was of course also great and I stood up under the whole show. I was having so much fun and I will remember it for the rest of my life. This was my first real concert and I’m glad that it was ’cause now I will remember it for life.

After the show I felt so empty and before the concert started I had this funny feeling in my stomach that at that time I wanted to go away, but after the show I would have done anything to get it all back. I wished I could go back in time and see it all again!!! Now I’m just wondering why does people hate on when he is so amazing and just misunderstood? Is it because they are jealouse of him? I really don’t get it, what is there to hate? I just Love him really I know that you really can’t say that about a person that you never met, but I really feel like a have known him since forever!!! #believetour @Justin Bieber

Am I crazy?

– Amy

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*dying* :0

A day of a teenager – Saturday

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Omg can you believe it today I’m going to Justin Bieber concert..I can’t wait for it!!! Right now I’m with my three girls and in 5 hours Justin Bieber is going to be on stage!!! It was hard for me to sleep yesterday ’cause I was and still are very nervous!! What if something goes wrong, what if we can’t get in!!! I remember when my friends and I began counting down to the Day and I remember that there was 268 days and now there are few hours!??!

I have a strange feeling in my stomach it feels like butterflies, but the butterflies is also a little bit nervous. I don’t know if you know what I mean, but you feel like you know this person that you never met! Is really strange? I’m finally going to see him and I can’t wait. The songs that I look forward to the must is Fall and as long as you love me, but all the songs is amazing!!!!! I can’t wait to see and feel the karma in the stadium. I know it sound strange, but it’s so hard to explain how I feel right now.

– Amy

Ps. Beliebers outside the arena in Copenhagen!!

 

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Introducing

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A normal life of a teenager. Im opening up to all my writers to tell what happens in my life. When I started this blog I wrote about my thoughts on Monday – sunday it was an opening for what im starting on now. Every day every week I will write about my day and thoughts on the day. People would say that a normal teenage life is boring but its the opposite. A teenage life is the most interesting fase of a humans life. It’s were you begin to find out how you really are. My life isen’t special but it’s real!!

– Amy

Saturday

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You can do what ever you want ’cause you can get up late and go late to bed. It’s grat until it’s over. Today I was in the cinema to see gangster squad it was amazing and Ryan gosling playing Jerry. He was so gud damn hot that you wouldn’t believe it.

The movie was about some police men who goes undercover to go against the mafia boss of Los Angeles called mickey. The was very good and full of action but there was some jokes in it to which made to much better. It’s stuff like that you can do on a saturday. It is so easy  to make the day good and fun you just have to do something and just don’t sit home a waste your Saturday….

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Thursday

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The day before the big day…It’s a lot easier you begin to do a lot of fun thing. the day is a lot faster you haven’t looked around before it’s friday. This day don’t need much to make it good. your mood is much better you laugh a lot ’cause you want to. there are so much more to laugh about and you look forward to the weekend and sometimes if you make the day good thursday can feel like a mini fridag. The reason why friday and weekend is mentioned a lot is because it’s the only thing that keeps you alive when you are busy in school. It’s the reason why you don’t  run death in all the homework. The Holiday can feel so far away so insted you focus on the weekends ’cause you need something to look forward to….

Can’t wait for tomorrow!!!!

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