I know it’s a long time since I last wrote and I’m not sure if people even read these anymore, but I needed to write something. It’s a long time since I’ve been so mad at the world. I’m only 16 and I don’t understand the world. I thought I did, but now I’m positive that the world we live in is disturbed.
I have three friends. Three very close friends, but they’re not just my close friends or best friends they are my family and when something happens to them. I’ll do anything to make it better, but this time I can’t do anything about it. My one friend got some very terrible news a week ago, news that would make you stop laughing for years, but this girl she smiles and laughs and I know that some would say the person is in denial, but for me it seems like she’s choosing to fight. Not only fight the bad thing, but fight the feeling of being sad. Every smile and every laugh is a fight and she keeps winning them. Every time I saw laugh or smile this week I admired her. As I wrote in my post about beauty for me it’s when a person is fighting against the darkness and the sadness that keep trying to invade their life and that’s what my friend is doing. She’s fighting against what normally would eat up a person. She smiles and laughs and it’s so amazing to watch. I’m not sure how I would react if I was in her situation, but she’s an inspiration. Seeing her smile you can see the battle behind it and that makes it the most beautiful smile you can ever see. She doesn’t see herself as strong, but that’s what it takes and normally when you fight somewhere in the future there will be victory. So even though I’m not sure I even believe in God I believe in something bigger someone who listens and today and tomorrow everyday until victory I’ll pray for this amazing strong girl who should get a victory medal for winning everyday over the sadness in her fighting against her. I hope some of you will pray for this girl you never met. Pray for her to keep winning, because I know she can. I’ll pray for my family. If she’s strong – I’m strong.
“For being beautiful, amazing and one hell of a fighter”
“Are you okay?” “yea I’m fine” – what do you mean by that?. Are you REALLY fine or a you actually horrible and your world is falling a part. It’s hard to know. I personally have a habit for running for my problems and I do by telling myself that I’m fine. The guy I’m seeing is also seeing someone else – you know what I’m fine, I’ll survive.
Have you heard of a panic attack? I had one last year. I remember that I couldn’t breath. I felt like my lungs where getting smaller and that I couldn’t breath probably. At the moment I didn’t know why I couldn’t breath, but thinking back at it. It makes sense that my world were falling down and a part. 4 years of pain and problems finally hit me, but instead of dealing with the problems when they came I was keeping them inside. So all the pain came down at ones.
For 4 years I said to others “I’m fine” so many times that I start believing it.
Meredith: I’m fine. Alex: You said that word so many times today, it doesn’t even sound like a word anymore
Derek: How is Meredith, anyway? Cristina: Fine. Derek: She’s always fine. That’s her problem. Cristina: We’re fine people. We do fine. We’re fine.
I wondered over this topic when I saw an episode in Grey’s anatomy, so these quotes or dialog’s is from different episodes. They describe what I want to say about this. I learned that it’s healthy to face your problems because avoiding them only makes it worse. I’m still working on it though. Sometimes it feels harder to face the problem then to avoid it, but it helps in the end.
Jesus I’m so stupid!! So I was running a little late this morning because I was sleeping to long.
When I was almost done with all the stuff I do in the morning I went upstairs to get me phone and on my way down I fell on the stairs because of my stupid shoes. Now I’m laying in my bed with ice on my back and feeling sorry for my self.
Teenagers who acts like they are grown ups – driving by VIP and money
This is the tv shows of all tv shows. My friends in school started seeing it a long time ago and they said to me ” Amalie you’ll love and omg chuck bass is so hot” I though it was very complicated because it had to many people in it and I didn’t think that chuck bass was hot. Then 5 months ago began seeing it from the start it was much better and I fell in love with Blair and Serena. The way they act is amazing they are best friends and they live in their amazing world. I don’t know what it was but I felt like I was apart of it. After some time you begin to pick side and picked Blair’s, Serena’s, Chuck’s and Nate’s ’cause even though they didn’t say it out loud they stuck together and helped each other. there wasn’t anybody who could come in their little group. They had seen the worse part of each others.
The tv show has 6 seasons and in every episode something unbelievable happens to me it seemed hard to solve but it always it ends with that the solve the problem and sometimes the persons comes in so much trouble. The thing that I found out in the tv show was every character in the tv show had a story many of them had problems with their parents. They solve all their problems with out the police and with out help from their parents.
Gossip girl isn’t only about the teenagers drama it’s also the parents drama basically it’s grown ups acting like they are teenagers just with more money they use their money for everything they can. If they need some drugs they just buy it or maybe the just steal it from their son.
I though and I still think that Gossip girl is the best tv show I have ever seen because of the love, the money, the VIP, but most important the drama. You ship the persons in the tv show with each other you wanna see them happy and you feel like you are the only one who knows who they are meant to be with. ex. in the start I only was on Serena’s side and then I also was on Blairs, but then again what was the mystery behind Chuck bass? was the bass really as bad as he seemed. Chuck was the first male in the gossip girl who made an impression on me. He was bad and twisted and a mystery. He was a girls biggest dream and you were quick totally “hot on him” and so was Blair. It just took her long time to know that Chuck also has another side. A side that only she could get out of him. Chucks biggest problem was his dad. Yes the bad ass had a very vulnerable side.
So if you like drama and mystery you should defiantly see the tv show and pick a side are you Dan Humphrey – Brooklyn side or are you with Blair and Serena on the upper east side? But must importantly what guy is you crush are you with Nate the sweet but who also can be a really bad ass or with his best friend Chuck who is sex on a stick and really bad ass or are you humble Humphrey from Brooklyn who will surprise you so much?
So this post isn’t just for today, but the whole weekend.This was the weekend of my life. Everything was so amazing. Let’s start from friday. Friday I had dinner with some friends and my parents. It was great, but my stomach really hurt. It felt like nervous butterflies. I think when the time was about 11 pm i left the dinner and went over to my friend. We made a little sleep over with two other girls. It’s my best friends, but Friday was nothing like Saturday. My friends and I started with warming out and when the time finally was 4 pm we went in to Copenhagen. It was crazy to see so many people in one place. We waited some outside the arena and I could feel that my stomach got more and more strange. I really felt like I was going faint ’cause I was so nervous that the tickets wouldn’t work, but they did thank god!! When we finally got in I felt much better! In there we waited for like three hours and after 2 hours I was really tired of Micheal Jackson ’cause it was playing as waiting music. The concert was a little late because of some fans in front. We waited an hour more for Justin Bieber, but it was all worth it when he entered the stage. I was so hyped!! It was so amazing! I felt like I was apart of something bigger. I finally understood what the beliebers ment when they say that we’re family!! and we are and I really felt that. It was so amazing it’s hard to describe how it was ’cause there isn’t words for it. I was just to happy to share this with my besties. It was unreal that you finally saw him after all that time following him. You really feel like you know him and that you met before and that it’s just some time since you saw him.
When Justin Bieber started singing Believe all the people in the arena had a sign that said proud. I admit that I was expecting so many people with the proud sings. It was an amazing to look out over the audience and see everyone doing the same thing. I was definitely apart of something really big and you felt like one it was so amazing. Okay hmm I’ve used amazing a lot? 😀 The music was of course also great and I stood up under the whole show. I was having so much fun and I will remember it for the rest of my life. This was my first real concert and I’m glad that it was ’cause now I will remember it for life.
After the show I felt so empty and before the concert started I had this funny feeling in my stomach that at that time I wanted to go away, but after the show I would have done anything to get it all back. I wished I could go back in time and see it all again!!! Now I’m just wondering why does people hate on when he is so amazing and just misunderstood? Is it because they are jealouse of him? I really don’t get it, what is there to hate? I just Love him really I know that you really can’t say that about a person that you never met, but I really feel like a have known him since forever!!! #believetour @Justin Bieber
Dear honey why do you feel free today? The answer for that is easy, it’s because you are singel. Why only see the negative side when there are a positive side too. Now you don’t have to think of other persons then family, friends and yourself. Right after I began to be single I felt free and I was ready to do something crazy, but I admit sometimes I miss waking up to a sms from him where he writes how much he misses me and that he wishes me a great day. It just kind of lights up your world a little. The best thing by being single is the time you have with your friends suddenly your friends and you are equal ’cause now you both can look after boys when your out. I like that I don’t have to look great all the time I can look ugly if I want to. It might be that girls like to dress up and look pretty, but we also love to look ugly. When you are single you don’t have to always think of the others person you can think a little more of yourself instead, which is great sometimes. I know it might feel lonely sometimes, but maybe you need to feel lonely it’s good for the soul I think.
Heartbroken The must scary word really!! See that is the good part of being single a boy can’t break your heart. Who wants a brokenheart? I hope nobody ’cause it’s so painfull why go through that when you don’t have to. I know that sometimes you have to ’cause you can’t find right person from the start and girls can’t say that they are afraid that a boy will break their heart ’cause we girls can break hearts too and we do it to protect us self for being brokenhearted. It’s a black circle….
I was home late last night so im will update to times today!!
Yesterday was the longest day ever. My family and I didn’t do anything the hole day. As I wrote before I was going to see my confirmation dress, but it was 7.30 pm, so I had to use the time for something! Later that day I visited my grandmother I know it sound wried and boring, but it wasen’t it never is. My grandmother means the world to me. After that I went to see my dress. My cousine made it and it is the most beautiful thing really!! but there was some things with it so I couldn’t get it with me. It’s so annoying ‘casue now i’ll have to wait longer. I really just want it with me now!!! So yesterday wasen’t the best day ever??!
A normal life of a teenager. Im opening up to all my writers to tell what happens in my life. When I started this blog I wrote about my thoughts on Monday – sunday it was an opening for what im starting on now. Every day every week I will write about my day and thoughts on the day. People would say that a normal teenage life is boring but its the opposite. A teenage life is the most interesting fase of a humans life. It’s were you begin to find out how you really are. My life isen’t special but it’s real!!
I’m so afraid of what is going to come. I know some of you already know what you are going to do in the future, but most of us is lost and we fear it. I remember from when I was little I always dreamed about my future. What it was going to be like to be a grown up. I remember that I always dreamed about a big white house and a lot of money so I didn’t have to care about what I would buy. Now I know that I have to work for it and what if I never finds out what to do with my life. So many worries…
Now that we are older a lot of people asks us what we are going to be in the future and you really wish that you know but you are just lost. They’ll keep asking until you know personally i’ve learned that I shouldn’t care about others already knows what they are going to be. You are so jealous that you don’t have your life figured out. Future is about your dreams what do you wanna be and how do you wanna be like. You’ll never stop dreaming and you shouldn’t ’cause you work more for it when you really want it.
So are dreams and future the same thing im not sure ’cause dreaming is like wanting something really bad and like I wrote before when you really wants something you’ll get it, but it’s not all your dreams are like that some dreams are fantasy and some we like to stay like that. f.eks you’ll dream about being in another world like sometimes i wish for something bigger then this world sometimes i wish that f.eks there existed vampires not because i think it’s a great thing but because it’s something different and because they can do things that we humans only dream off.
Okay so what is it with mondays…Nobody likes them! personelly i can go a hole weekend thinking “oh no it’s monday soon” The worst think you know is when you make up in the morning and it’s cold and early. The feeling you get when you wake up and your duvet is so warm and in your head it just seems stupid to get up when you can lie under your duvet a hole day??! It’s so hard to get up and you just wish you could go back to when it was weekend and you’re life was great!! I personal think it’s hardest when it’s winter cause in Denmark and most of europe, it’s so dark that it looks like it’s the middel of the night?! During the week it gets easier and easier and when it’s friday you jump out of bed because you think “today is a good day” and when you get to school the day seems shorter and more fun!! 🙂