Smiles and laughs

btw…

I know it’s a long time since I last wrote and I’m not sure if people even read these anymore, but I needed to write something. It’s a long time since I’ve been so mad at the world. I’m only 16 and I don’t understand the world. I thought I did, but now I’m positive that the world we live in is disturbed.

I have three friends. Three very close friends, but they’re not just my close friends or best friends they are my family and when something happens to them. I’ll do anything to make it better, but this time I can’t do anything about it. My one friend got some very terrible news a week ago, news that would make you stop laughing for years, but this girl she smiles and laughs and I know that some would say the person is in denial, but for me it seems like she’s choosing to fight. Not only fight the bad thing, but fight the feeling of being sad. Every smile and every laugh is a fight and she keeps winning them. Every time I saw laugh or smile this week I admired her. As I wrote in my post about beauty for me it’s when a person is fighting against the darkness and the sadness that keep trying to invade their life and that’s what my friend is doing. She’s fighting against what normally would eat up a person. She smiles and laughs and it’s so amazing to watch. I’m not sure how I would react if I was in her situation, but she’s an inspiration. Seeing her smile you can see the battle behind it and that makes it the most beautiful smile you can ever see. She doesn’t see herself as strong, but that’s what it takes and normally when you fight somewhere in the future there will be victory. So even though I’m not sure I even believe in God I believe in something bigger someone who listens and today and tomorrow everyday until victory I’ll pray for this amazing strong girl who should get a victory medal for winning everyday over the sadness in her fighting against her. I hope some of you will pray for this girl you never met. Pray for her to keep winning, because I know she can. I’ll pray for my family. If she’s strong – I’m strong.

Love you.

“For being beautiful, amazing and one hell of a fighter”

– Amy

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Death

 

btw…

I lost a friend of the family some weeks ago and it made me wonder..What is death, is there a life after death, should we be afraid of death etc..

I never really believed in heaven. It just seemed unreal that on the clouds there would be golden doors and a man on a big chair who took care of all his children. When I was little I had this idea because of a book I read that an angel would come down to get you while you watched your funeral. The beautiful angel would bring you up to this big golden door. On the other side of the door you could walk on the clouds and look down on the people you hold most dear. You would take care of them. So when I asked my dad where my granddad where he said he was dead and I imagined him laying on the clouds looking down on me. I still like the idea, but now that I’m older it’s hard for me to imagine. I think my head is trying to convince me that is not possible and my heart is trying to say that it doesn’t matter if it’s possible if I believe it then it’s real for me. After life for me is a fantasy something I want to believe in. I think that’s why when people ask if I believe in God I always say yes to get them a short answer. I believe in the after life because it gives me peace. Peace with death – did you ever hear about the term. I know I have, but what I don’t understand is how do you prepare yourself to die, how do you make peace with death? Death is scary and dark, but mostly just silent. I think it’s different for the way you die: When you’re old surrounded by family or when you die suddenly without saying to the people around you that you love them. I understand when your old that you just want peace, but death isn’t always peace it it’s also cold and lonely. When someone die I always think it’s sad no matter when happens, because in my world the person just vanish and whats left is only the persons memory. He/her leaves their love ones and there is nothing and emptiness.

No one is promised tomorrow. The only thing we can count on is today..

Most frightning thing about death is that it can happen any minute. You never know when you no longer is going be here. So you have to live everyday to fullest, but I mean not many does that. They live like they have forever. They never ask the cute girl on a date at work or take that job they always wanted, but needed to ask for. It’s hard to live like it’s the last day, because not many takes chances. It’s about taking the moment to get a happier life. Yolo – You only live ones! or Carpe diem. So cliché terms that you thing they are stupid, but true.

I don’t know if any one you ever watched Supernatural, but in the tv-show death appears as person. I wise person who have to follow faith. An old, but powerful man. Who have seen worse that what we can imagine who are tired of human killing human when we should live our life in happiness. A man who seen all the wars and killing and who just stood be at the sideline and watch us kill ourselves because we couldn’t talk about it or because we seek power. I know it seems a little strange, but I kind of like the idea of an old man with a cute assistant coming to you and telling you to let go. A man who knows more about life than a person who has lived.

I don’t know about death. I mean nobody does. We have our theories, but what we all agree on is that we want to make death safer and maybe okay. I personally just want it to be peaceful and defiantly not realistic. For me it has to be supernatural their most be something more than just emptiness when you die.

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The Hunger Games: Catching fire

btw…

I went in to see it with three friends and I have never been so nervous. I had no idea if it was good or bad. The only think I knew was that catching fire for the first time I’ve heard about got better reviews than the first. I mean number two is always bad compared to the first one, but not catching fire. It was amazing. It was so exciting. it’s about a month ago maybe i saw and the first thing I do when I come home is to buy it. It was so freaking good i mean wow. If you haven’t seen the first one and because of that didn’t think you could see the second. It doesn’t matter hurry up to see the first one because the go together not that you wouldn’t understand catching fire without seeing the first one, but it just gets better if you see the first one.

I see a lot of movies and this was the movie of year. It had everything a movie should have; excitement, humor, love and a surprising end. It was so good and I’m almost done with mockingly which is the last book. And now Im freaking out, now I really need to see the final movie. Lets just say that it’s a good movie. I really mean see it, it doesn’t matter your age or sex just see it!!!!!

Soulmate or soulmates?

btw…

Do you think we have more than one soul mate. I mean is there one or two or ever more persons who you just don’t love, but who is your soulmate. We always hear that life is about finding that one person. But I don’t think so anymore. I know you can find a person you’ll love forever, but then doesn’t you miss the fun of finding the person. You hear often that a couple met in high school and had been together ever since. They didn’t have to look anymore because they found their soulmate. The bigger question is how do you know if the person is your soulmate and what is soulmate.

So I looked the word soulmate up and it’s a person you have deep feelings for that you can explain. Feeling you can’t set words on. For me that sound amazing. It almost sound like a fairytale. And when you find the person who can’t be explain, but it doesn’t work between you. does that mean they you aren’t soulmates? personally I think you can move on from on soulmate and find a new one. It isn’t only one person it’s more. I don’t think there is a number because when you know a person and you have deep feelings for the person. You make the person your soulmate. It’s not just a feeling you get when you walk past the person. If you feel you can make the person you soulmate and because you can do that. You can also lose the person. It doesn’t make sense, but maybe it will. I don’t know.
Somehow I hope you know when to make the person your soulmate and on the other hand I hope not. I mean life should be an adventure. And part of life is getting hurt, so when you find the person don’t be afraid even though it can go wrong.

 

Soulmates

sadness

btw…

I hate crying and like everybody else I HATE being sad. But why? I mean do we really have to cry and be sad. I just can’t see why we have to feel bad I mean everybody deserve happiness. I know it sound strange, but I never cried – I didn’t cry over him, her and the other her and oh yea the third her and no I’m not into girls. It’s some  ex best friends and well it didn’t end very well…I never cried and isn’t that strange I mean. Shouldn’t I cry isn’t that normal to cry when something bad happens to you???? I feel like crying is overrated. I don’t think I can say it’s overrated because I always cries in movies and tv shows and I don’t know why. It’s not normal not to cry when you lose someone and cry when something happens in movies and tv shows. I think I’m ignoring that feeling. I never cry anymore….

Enough about crying it’s depressing. Back to sadness. What it is? I know that it comes when something happens or when you lose someone. I don’t think that the only reason I mean sadness comes with happiness. A person can’t be happy all the time. I don’t think it would be good if you just was happy. I think you grow of sadness. You involve because of it. You learn to deal with it and live with it.

I think that sadness and happiness follow each others. When you sad it follows with happiness!

 

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The Bad guy vs The Good guy

btw…

Twilight, the vampire diaries, gossip girl, the phantom of the opera. they are names on movies where girls always fall in love with the bad guy and we fall in love with them. Det bad ones. They can be cruel and mean, but they have something that the good guy don’t have. We want excitement in life. We want to take a change..CARPE DIEM….Right? isn’t it a little strange that even though we don’t want to admit it ex. the phantom he kills and kidnaps but still I personally takes his side and I cry every time I see the movie because I don’t understand why she doesn’t choose him. He has something. He is dark and bad and in the movie she is drawn by it. in love never dies they tell you that she choose him for a night and she keeps coming back. You would say she’s stupid. She got the man of any women dream. A man who takes care of you and your family, but that isn’t always enough. I mean would he die for you. You can be a 100% sure that the phantom would die for you because he loves you more than he can describe. Why think we seek love, but we really seek “the epic love” the love that you can run from.

 

The epic love is a very interesting thing because it can be an epic love if you really feel it and it doesn’t matter who the person is and isn’t it just a teenage dream to end up the protective and bad guy. I mean in the real world isn’t it like that. An epic love can be with anybody and often we end up with the good guy and the better guy. That isn’t bad right? does it really matter if the guy is bad or good. If it’s an epic love then it’s an epic love. No matter what you shouldn’t run from it. every girl have dreams but most of the times you don’t end up with your dream you end up with something better!! That is what epic love is about something that is good for you.

 

So personally I think that every girl is drawn by the bad guy in movies and in television, but also in real love. It’s kind of one humans disabilities. why always need to choose the wrong one and make mistakes, but in the end we end up with the great guy. not the better or the bad guy, but the great and amazing guy! That is the most important think and I think that everybody needs to find out what the great guy. Right now the only experience I have is with bad guy, but that isn’t any mystic over that. he was more the wrong guy then the bad guy.

 

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Dear john

Btw…

I’ve seen Dear john two times now and this is one of the most amazing movies. Then why have I only seen it twice? The answer is kind of easy I cry too much!!! It’s good but it’s just sad and so many die and John has so leave Savannah ’cause he’s going to war…why is it always war. They are just perfect together, but somehow they aren’t together until the end??

I went through pain yesterday when I watch it, but I just couldn’t keep away from it. My friends and I almost fear it cause we are afraid of crying and more crying 😭 I’m still not sure why it’s so good? It just are.

So if you are in one of those moods that you want to cry and want to see true romance this is definitely a movie you should see!!!

Savages

btw…

uh it was a little bit scary, but it was also good maybe a little wired. I saw the movie because Blake Lively is in it actually you can say she is in the middle. The movie is about to friends who works with weed and they are just living life where the split this girl that they both are in love with (Blake Lively Serena from Gossip girl). Suddenly she gets kidnapped and the boys do anything to get her back and it was really good actually. Ben who is one of the main roles played by Aaron Johnson who also plays John Lennon in Nowhere boy who I just wrote about and I didn’t even know.

So if your to a good action movie which somehow is a little wired then you should defiantly see. I thought it was good normally I’m to movies like this one, but there was something about it. It has some really disgusting scenes, but well it was fine. Plus you really get a big surprise in the end!

Here is a link to the movie: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1615065/

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Gossip girl

XOXO…

Teenagers who acts like they are grown ups – driving by VIP and money

This is the tv shows of all tv shows. My friends in school started seeing it a long time ago and they said to me ” Amalie you’ll love and omg chuck bass is so hot” I though it was very complicated because it had to many people in it and I didn’t think that chuck bass was hot. Then 5 months ago began seeing it from the start it was much better and I fell in love with Blair and Serena. The way they act is amazing they are best friends and they live in their amazing world. I don’t know what it was but I felt like I was apart of it. After some time you begin to pick side and picked Blair’s, Serena’s, Chuck’s and Nate’s ’cause even though they didn’t say it out loud they stuck together and helped each other. there wasn’t anybody  who could come in their little group. They had seen the worse part of each others.

The tv show has 6 seasons and in every episode something unbelievable happens to me it seemed hard to solve but it always it ends with that the solve the problem and sometimes the persons comes in so much trouble. The thing that I found out in the tv show was every character in the tv show had a story many of them had problems with their parents. They solve all their problems with out the police and with out help from their parents.

Gossip girl isn’t only about the teenagers drama it’s also the parents drama basically  it’s grown ups acting like they are teenagers just with more money they use their money for everything they can. If they need some drugs they just buy it or maybe the just steal it from their son.

I though and I still think that Gossip girl is the best tv show I have ever seen because of the love, the money, the VIP, but most important the drama. You ship the persons in the tv show with each other you wanna see them happy and you feel like you are the only one who knows who they are meant to be with. ex. in the start I only was on Serena’s side and then I also was on Blairs, but then again what was the mystery behind Chuck bass? was the bass really as bad as he seemed. Chuck was the first male in the gossip girl who made an impression on me. He was bad and twisted and a mystery. He was a girls biggest dream and you were quick totally “hot on him” and so was Blair. It just took her long time to know that Chuck also has another side. A side that only she could get out of him. Chucks biggest problem was his dad. Yes the bad ass had a very vulnerable side.

So if you like drama and mystery you should defiantly see the tv show and pick a side are you Dan Humphrey – Brooklyn side or are you with Blair and Serena on the upper east side? But must importantly what guy is you crush are you with Nate the sweet but who also can be a really bad ass or with his best friend Chuck who is sex on a stick and really bad ass or are you humble Humphrey from Brooklyn who will surprise you so much?

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R.I.P Cory Monteith

btw…

I don’t know him that well as Cory Monteith I know him because of a Tv-show which gave me hope to follow my dreams and told me to stand out of the crowd. I know him as Finn Hudson. Some days ago he died of a drug overdose. He had so many struggles tat made him do this, but when he acted in glee he felt like he belonged and he felt talented. I just saw the last episode where you see him and I cried. I don’t know why I’m not a fan fan, but I have watch him in glee and that’s enough for me. I maybe overreacting but I feel like I know him even though I don’t even know when his birthday is.

My prayers go out to his family and his friends, but specially I sent my prayers to Lea Michele his co-worker and fiancée  I’m sure that he is in a better place and we’ll miss him.

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