Fine.

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I’m fine, we’re all fine, everybody is fine…

“Are you okay?” “yea I’m fine” – what do you mean by that?. Are you REALLY fine or a you actually horrible and your world is falling a part. It’s hard to know. I personally have a habit for running for my problems and I do by telling myself that I’m fine. The guy I’m seeing is also seeing someone else – you know what I’m fine, I’ll survive.

Have you heard of a panic attack? I had one last year. I remember that I couldn’t breath. I felt like my lungs where getting smaller and that I couldn’t breath probably. At the moment I didn’t know why I couldn’t breath, but thinking back at it. It makes sense that my world were falling down and a part. 4 years of pain and problems finally hit me, but instead of dealing with the problems when they came I was keeping them inside. So all the pain came down at ones.

For 4 years I said to others “I’m fine” so many times that I start believing it.

Meredith: I’m fine.                                                                                                                                                                            Alex: You said that word so many times today, it doesn’t even sound like a word anymore

Derek: How is Meredith, anyway?
Cristina: Fine.
Derek: She’s always fine. That’s her problem.
Cristina: We’re fine people. We do fine. We’re fine.

I wondered over this topic when I saw an episode in Grey’s anatomy, so these quotes or dialog’s is from different episodes. They describe what I want to say about this. I learned that it’s healthy to face your problems because avoiding them only makes it worse. I’m still working on it though. Sometimes it feels harder to face the problem then to avoid it, but it helps in the end.

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sadness

btw…

I hate crying and like everybody else I HATE being sad. But why? I mean do we really have to cry and be sad. I just can’t see why we have to feel bad I mean everybody deserve happiness. I know it sound strange, but I never cried – I didn’t cry over him, her and the other her and oh yea the third her and no I’m not into girls. It’s some  ex best friends and well it didn’t end very well…I never cried and isn’t that strange I mean. Shouldn’t I cry isn’t that normal to cry when something bad happens to you???? I feel like crying is overrated. I don’t think I can say it’s overrated because I always cries in movies and tv shows and I don’t know why. It’s not normal not to cry when you lose someone and cry when something happens in movies and tv shows. I think I’m ignoring that feeling. I never cry anymore….

Enough about crying it’s depressing. Back to sadness. What it is? I know that it comes when something happens or when you lose someone. I don’t think that the only reason I mean sadness comes with happiness. A person can’t be happy all the time. I don’t think it would be good if you just was happy. I think you grow of sadness. You involve because of it. You learn to deal with it and live with it.

I think that sadness and happiness follow each others. When you sad it follows with happiness!

 

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The Bad guy vs The Good guy

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Twilight, the vampire diaries, gossip girl, the phantom of the opera. they are names on movies where girls always fall in love with the bad guy and we fall in love with them. Det bad ones. They can be cruel and mean, but they have something that the good guy don’t have. We want excitement in life. We want to take a change..CARPE DIEM….Right? isn’t it a little strange that even though we don’t want to admit it ex. the phantom he kills and kidnaps but still I personally takes his side and I cry every time I see the movie because I don’t understand why she doesn’t choose him. He has something. He is dark and bad and in the movie she is drawn by it. in love never dies they tell you that she choose him for a night and she keeps coming back. You would say she’s stupid. She got the man of any women dream. A man who takes care of you and your family, but that isn’t always enough. I mean would he die for you. You can be a 100% sure that the phantom would die for you because he loves you more than he can describe. Why think we seek love, but we really seek “the epic love” the love that you can run from.

 

The epic love is a very interesting thing because it can be an epic love if you really feel it and it doesn’t matter who the person is and isn’t it just a teenage dream to end up the protective and bad guy. I mean in the real world isn’t it like that. An epic love can be with anybody and often we end up with the good guy and the better guy. That isn’t bad right? does it really matter if the guy is bad or good. If it’s an epic love then it’s an epic love. No matter what you shouldn’t run from it. every girl have dreams but most of the times you don’t end up with your dream you end up with something better!! That is what epic love is about something that is good for you.

 

So personally I think that every girl is drawn by the bad guy in movies and in television, but also in real love. It’s kind of one humans disabilities. why always need to choose the wrong one and make mistakes, but in the end we end up with the great guy. not the better or the bad guy, but the great and amazing guy! That is the most important think and I think that everybody needs to find out what the great guy. Right now the only experience I have is with bad guy, but that isn’t any mystic over that. he was more the wrong guy then the bad guy.

 

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I’m so…..

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Jesus I’m so stupid!! So I was running a little late this morning because I was sleeping to long.
When I was almost done with all the stuff I do in the morning I went upstairs to get me phone and on my way down I fell on the stairs because of my stupid shoes. Now I’m laying in my bed with ice on my back and feeling sorry for my self.

Just a normal day…

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Long time no see

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So I just caught my self talking to my self. That was when I realised that I really should write to you. I feel bad ’cause I haven’t written for so many weeks that I can’t even count them. My life is so stressed and I’m actually considering dyeing because of all the homework. It’s harder being in 9th grade then I imagined. I just like writing to you guys. it’s my way to put all my thought out of my head which is so freaking awesome. And yes I did just said freaking instead of cursing, I’m trying not to curse anymore. I’m 15 now and I feel like I should grow up!!

Well I’m back sweet honey’s!!!!

XO Amy 🙂

Nowhere boy

btw…

I’m so f***ing happy that I found this movie. It was funny, dramatic and it was history! I’m not talking about the boring history but this is what changed the world in the last 50s and early 60s..The beatles!!!! This movie is about John Lennon who started the band ’cause he was inspired by his mother and by Elvis Presley, but it isn’t just about his band. It’s about his life how hard he lived. For me it explained the mystery behind the beatles because for me they was always a part of history not just music history, but the real big thing. It was always fun to see how they lived and how they was back then. In some way I wished I’ve been there because they really started something big. It was also funny to see how they all find each other. it was specially funny for me to see paul McCartney find his was in because I really like his music.

I was never a big fan of the beatles, but that didn’t stop me for seeing the movie because like I wrote before it’s not just about that. The movie was one of the most amazing movies I’ve ever seen and I laughed and I cried, but the movie can maybe boring to some but to me it was more than amazing. I loved it…

Ps. The actor who plays John Lennon is really hot and cute at the same time. He looks amazing!!!

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An education

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wow this movie really surprised me. I may have seen it before but there was something really amazing about it. The movie is about a young girl who studies to go to Oxford, but then she meets this guy who is much older than she and he shows her another way of life. She has so much fun and her dream comes true, but when life is the best everything goes bad. she drops out of school because she things she can get a better future, but as the title sais she gets an education.

The big question is what the title means. I don’t think it’s so direct. She gets a life experience and a life education. I think the movie takes place maybe in the 50s or 60s  where not many women got an education ’cause they married rich instead, but some women began thinking that they could take care of them self. For many this time was grey and it’s about living life and finding your self. Jenny which is the girl’s name has a peak of a fresh and new world, but is that world really as amazing as it seems?

 

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Gossip girl

XOXO…

Teenagers who acts like they are grown ups – driving by VIP and money

This is the tv shows of all tv shows. My friends in school started seeing it a long time ago and they said to me ” Amalie you’ll love and omg chuck bass is so hot” I though it was very complicated because it had to many people in it and I didn’t think that chuck bass was hot. Then 5 months ago began seeing it from the start it was much better and I fell in love with Blair and Serena. The way they act is amazing they are best friends and they live in their amazing world. I don’t know what it was but I felt like I was apart of it. After some time you begin to pick side and picked Blair’s, Serena’s, Chuck’s and Nate’s ’cause even though they didn’t say it out loud they stuck together and helped each other. there wasn’t anybody  who could come in their little group. They had seen the worse part of each others.

The tv show has 6 seasons and in every episode something unbelievable happens to me it seemed hard to solve but it always it ends with that the solve the problem and sometimes the persons comes in so much trouble. The thing that I found out in the tv show was every character in the tv show had a story many of them had problems with their parents. They solve all their problems with out the police and with out help from their parents.

Gossip girl isn’t only about the teenagers drama it’s also the parents drama basically  it’s grown ups acting like they are teenagers just with more money they use their money for everything they can. If they need some drugs they just buy it or maybe the just steal it from their son.

I though and I still think that Gossip girl is the best tv show I have ever seen because of the love, the money, the VIP, but most important the drama. You ship the persons in the tv show with each other you wanna see them happy and you feel like you are the only one who knows who they are meant to be with. ex. in the start I only was on Serena’s side and then I also was on Blairs, but then again what was the mystery behind Chuck bass? was the bass really as bad as he seemed. Chuck was the first male in the gossip girl who made an impression on me. He was bad and twisted and a mystery. He was a girls biggest dream and you were quick totally “hot on him” and so was Blair. It just took her long time to know that Chuck also has another side. A side that only she could get out of him. Chucks biggest problem was his dad. Yes the bad ass had a very vulnerable side.

So if you like drama and mystery you should defiantly see the tv show and pick a side are you Dan Humphrey – Brooklyn side or are you with Blair and Serena on the upper east side? But must importantly what guy is you crush are you with Nate the sweet but who also can be a really bad ass or with his best friend Chuck who is sex on a stick and really bad ass or are you humble Humphrey from Brooklyn who will surprise you so much?

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R.I.P Cory Monteith

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I don’t know him that well as Cory Monteith I know him because of a Tv-show which gave me hope to follow my dreams and told me to stand out of the crowd. I know him as Finn Hudson. Some days ago he died of a drug overdose. He had so many struggles tat made him do this, but when he acted in glee he felt like he belonged and he felt talented. I just saw the last episode where you see him and I cried. I don’t know why I’m not a fan fan, but I have watch him in glee and that’s enough for me. I maybe overreacting but I feel like I know him even though I don’t even know when his birthday is.

My prayers go out to his family and his friends, but specially I sent my prayers to Lea Michele his co-worker and fiancée  I’m sure that he is in a better place and we’ll miss him.

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Home sweet home

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Like I wrote on the last post I was on vacation with my best friends. We lived with my aunt for 5 days and it was great we went shopping a lot, but we always do that. We also went to this funpark and it was funny there was many people and kids. It was good to finally get away from school even though I don’t feel like it’s summer vacation yet. It has been some tough months in school – too many exams.

I just came home and it’s awesome to be in you own house, but im only home for 2 days and then im going to Mallorca for more than 2 weeks. Have you ever been on Mallorca? I’ve been there before last year and it was amazing and hot.

Where are you going on you vacation?